H3ALTH Talk • Episode 9
October 17, 2023
November is National Diabetes Month
November 17, 2023By: Anne Poirier, Director of Behavioral Health
Believe it or not the holidays are just around the corner, which means for some anxiety and worry are not far behind. Even though this time of year is meant to be a time filled with fun, festivities, family, and friends, it tends to carry with it a host of different emotions, anticipations, anxiety and fears.
People get worried about parties, gifts, finances, food, and family gatherings. They also begin to feel stressed and anxious due to the expectations they place on themselves to “make sure everything is perfect”.
According to a 2018 APA (pre-covid mind you) pole stress increases 88% this time of year. So, with that said, it important to manage the holiday season with a plan.
Here are 10 tips to help you survive, manage, and possibly even thrive this holiday season.
- Take a moment to sit quietly with yourself and prioritize what’s most important for you this holiday. Is it to make sure to see particular people? Steer clear of others? Stay within your budget? Enjoy the foods of the holiday season? Not snap at your kids? Stick to a holiday tradition?
- Make a list of what is most important to you, then ask yourself, on a scale of 1-10 how realistic is each one? You may find you have some things on your list that might not even be within your control, (see #4) or not within your budget…etc. If that is the case, place them on another list to address later.
- Don’t be afraid to say “no”. It is OK to go to 3 of the 10 gatherings you were invited to. Check your priority list to help you with what you say yes to, and what you say no to. Taking on too much is easy to do and is also connected to getting overwhelmed and stressed. When asked to go somewhere or do something, take a few deep breaths, pause, and ask yourself how important is this? How will it impact me this week? Next week? Etc.
- Stick to a regular routine as much as possible. For example, if you normally wake up, take a walk and have breakfast at the same time every day, try to stick that as closely to that as you can. According to Dr. Johin Presutti from the Mayo Clinic, maintaining a healthy sleep, wake and meal pattern schedule during the holidays will set you up for less stress and better physical and mental health.
- If you have a regular exercise program, stick to it as best you can. Remember the term structured flexibility. If you normally spend an hour at the gym 3 days a week, this time of year, maybe 30 minutes 2-3 times a week will suffice. (plus, all the holiday mall walking!)
- Focus on what is in your control. We tend to spend a lot of time worrying about other people’s thoughts, behaviors, expectations, opinions, feelings etc. Unfortunately, we don’t get to control those, all we can do is control our own. When you find yourself worrying about how your mother-in-law is going to like the gift you got her, or the casserole your making to bring to her house, take a deep breath and remember, what she thinks is beyond your control. (See 1a. Be realistic with yourself)
- Acknowledge and validate your emotions. It is easy to try to judge them, push them away or stuff them inside. When you start to feel sad, lonely, or disappointed, reach for the phone and call a friend, make an appointment with your coach or counselor, or pick up a journal and write out what your feeling. In other words, ask for help when you need it.
- Stay present. How often do you find yourself standing in the grocery store staring at the produce, and your mind is on your to do list, or on your daughter’s reaction at dinner last night, or thinking about what you’re wearing to the office party on Friday. When you find yourself spinning with thoughts about something in the past, or worrying about something in the future try this:
- Take a deep breath and focus on this moment. What are 3 things you see right in front of you? What are 3 things you can hear right now? What is 1 thing you can smell? This allows the brain to stop the spinning and land in the present moment, so you can reconnect to the task at hand. Pick up the veggies you need and move on with your day.
- Take care of yourself. As Eleanor Brown would say “You cannot serve from an empty vessel” If we take some time for ourselves, we become more connected with what is important, and are able to be more ourselves for the ones we love. Steal some quiet moments for yourself whenever you can. While the coffee is brewing, step out on your porch/deck/front step and take a few deep breaths and think of 3 things your grateful for. (breathing, nature, gratitude are all shown to decrease stress). If you find yourself with time because an appointment got cancelled, take a moment to sit on a park bench watching the clouds go by (instead of jumping to the next task on your list).
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” – Anne Lamott
So, as we move into the hustle and bustle of this season, I hope you will find time to practice one or more of these tips. If you do, you may find yourself experiencing more joy and peace as we open the door to 2024.